Is This Really Love?

I was listening to Unintended by Muse over and over again today. I even listened to it more than 40 times yesterday.

I spent a lot of time talking with a few people last night. One of them is my cousion, CT. To be honest, I am relieved to spend some time chatting with her because at least I manage to throw away some of the burdens that are already stagnant in my head. She's a lot younger than me and she seems to be so much wiser than me when it comes about relationship and love. Maybe because she is more experienced than I am or, girls are just generally like that... I am not too sure.

It's true, no one is perfect and I realize that Ms D have a few habit that I find to be quite irritating. For example, she was nagging all this morning when she found out that I sms her mum when I failed to sms her last night. All the messages that I sent to her was pending.

And the other day, she erased so many phone numbers from my phonebook when she borrowed my phone, with the excuse that she wanna use the phone for just one night. Shrewd. She should just tell me the reason why she wanna borrow that phone and I would just erase any numbers that she don't want me to keep.

And I also realised that she is slowly trying to change me as our relationship are going deeper. When we were in Kuching, she keep on comparing me with her elder sister's boyfriend and told me that I should be more like him. Don't you think it's kinda lame to immitate someone else? I am fine if she suggest it nicely and at least think before she open her mouth and say those words.

I know, no one is perfect, but not everyone can take critism. And I am one of them. But for the sake of this relationship, I will endure and explain to her. If she really love me, she gotta start to know how to play nicely.

I can't wait to get my driving license end of this month. That way, it would be easier for me to do what needs to be done to observe what she is doing. I am not obsessive but she gave me too many reasons to doubt this relationship.

I am starting to feel that this relationship is turning into just another game. And I am blaming her for that.